My Addictions

An addict is a person who is addicted to a particular substance.
But is it possible I need this substance to help me cope with existence.
I’d hate to overdose but I keep relapsing.
Even when I’m high I feel like I’m collapsing.
It’s inevitable to get hurt while dealing with  such a substance.
I thought time away from it would work, distance.
The addiction hits you ten times harder.
After all, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
These addiction demons grab my heart and make me want it more.
Cravings and day dreams that I haven’t had before.
Haunt me while I’m awake like a twisted Halloween.
I’ve been addicted to this stuff since I was about fourteen.
Like a horror movie, I can run but I can’t hide.
Whoever said dealing with addiction is easy, they lied.
There are things weighing heavy on my head, I wonder how my pillow feels.
My desire for this stuff got me thinking I’m head over heels.
Excuse the pun but you’ll get it later.
I got this poem figured out like a calculator.
Loving the highs regretting the lows.
But I’m addicted to this, and everybody knows.
It’s too bad my drug isn’t pain killers.
Tryna cover up how I feel within, emotional filters.
Knowing this will be the death of me, I always come back.
As electrifying as an orgasm and as addictive as crack.
I can’t break the chains off this craving, im the drugs slave.
No matter what distractions I use to occupy me, it’s it I crave.
How many times do I overdose, often.
And now im all alone like an orphan.
“Then why do you take it”.
Is the question I hear when it comes to it.
It’s because when I give it my pain it gives me back pleasure.
When I give it my trash I get back treasure.
It covers up my vulnerabilities.
It’s secures my insecurities.
Cocaine could give me a rush.
Weed could make me hush.
Ecstasy could excite me.
Heroin could numb me.
But the effect of this drug does what none of those drugs can.
It makes me feel complete without reducing my lifespan.
It makes the pain feel imaginary.
It takes all my baggage away for a while, temporary.
Which is ironic because it’s the cause of all my pains.
But the drug is so far in, my heart pumps it through all my veins.
I’d escape the addiction if given the chance…
Hey, my name is Buhle and I’m addicted to romance.



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